day nine: home-bound

Today, Suzy made a casserole (recipe below) for a homebound member of our church, Hubert. She was in the kitchen for over 4 hours, the baby strapped to her, dancing and playing with him as she stirred and chopped. She cooked two meals for Hubert (one to have tonight and one to freeze) as well as our own dinner.  Suzy works constantly to be a great stay-at-home mom, and much of what she does is for me.

JoAnn's Chicken Casserole
16 oz. French style green beans
1 can cream of chicken soup
1 can water chesnuts, sliced
1 onion, chopped
1 box Uncle Ben's wild rice, cooked according to instructions on box
Meat of 1 rotisserie chicken, pulled
1/2 C. mayonnaise
1 small jar pimentos
3-4 celery stalks, chopped 

Mix all together and put into oven-safe casserole dish. 

(Suzy added a topping, too: Melt one stick of butter. Crush about one sleeve of Ritz crackers and mix with the butter. Put the cracker/butter mixture on top of the casserole.) 

Bake for 30 minutes at 350 degrees.

The casserole, with some Sister Schubert rolls.

En route in the car.
Suzy's Grammy makes these casserole carriers in all different patterns. If you want one, let us know!

But as much as I adore Suzy for all that she does and all that she is, Hubert's devotion to his wife puts my love for Suzy to shame.

Hubert's wife passed away about 5 years ago after a long bout with Alzheimer's, during which he took care of her in their home - the home to which he is now confined, a home that he doesn't want to leave. And even though she's gone and has been gone for half a decade, his love for her is still very real. When he speaks of her, his eyes wet with tears and his verbs move back and forth between the past and present tense, calling her into the present only to lose her to the past once again. Almost 62 years of marriage can do that to a person.

Every time I visit Hubert, I'm both inspired and disheartened. I believe in love all over again. The devotion and adoration Hubert still has for his wife is pure and beautiful. He has her so close to his heart that when I walk into his house, I almost expect to see her in the home she loved, sitting in her favorite chair.

We all want to love someone the way Hubert does...but if we did, the pain of losing that person would be crippling. And, for Hubert, it almost is. He is heartbroken. His warmth and kindness are still evident, but there is an emptiness that permeates who he is.

Hubert in his home, sitting in his wife's favorite chair.
He's puppy-sitting a dog some friends rescued while they are on their honeymoon.

This little guy was very excited...

...but he calmed down for a little belly rub.

Sadly, all I can offer Hubert is a home cooked meal in the home to which he is bound.

I always hate to leave Hubert (although this time it was a little easier since he had the company of a cute puppy). He is so lonely, and I know when I walk out of the door he'll be alone again. But not really...

As I left his home and drove back to my own, I realized that Suzy is not just another person...she is a part of me. We are bound together by an invisible but indivisible bond.

And the same is true with Hubert and his wife. She might not be in her favorite chair anymore, but she is at home - with God, yes...but also with Hubert, within his heart.

forty days of culinary care

Chocolate. Alcohol. Meat. Sweet tea.

These are just a few of the things that I’ve given up in past years for Lent. But this year I wanted to do it differently. Enter: my brilliant wife. Suzy came up with the idea of blogging through these 40 days of Lent, finding ways to care for others using food.

So here’s what we’re going to do:

40 days of Culinary Care. Each day of Lent*—Ash Wednesday (February 22^nd this year) through Holy Saturday (April 7^th this year)—we are going to share love by sharing food. Sometimes we’ll be cooking. Sometimes we’ll be donating. Sometimes we’ll be serving. Sometimes we’ll be getting really creative, because it’s hard to think of 40 different ways to do this.

I’ll be blogging each day to share what we’ve done. I feel kind of weird doing. It feels a little pretentious and self-righteous. Please understand: I don’t have any delusions that what we’re doing will change the world, or even that it will be all that meaningful (for us or anybody else). Honestly, I just thought it was a cool idea when Suzy suggested it.

I am hoping, however, that this undertaking will give me some discipline during these seven-ish weeks. I am hoping that it will make me more intentional in my Lenten journey, more aware of how I use food (to show love, to feel comforted, to display status or power, etc.), and maybe even more aware of how the accessibility of food is a justice issue—not just on a global scale, but in my everyday, normal, routine lives.

I’m sure that I will stumble my way through these 40 days. There will be times when I will screw it up or miss the point; when my hypocrisy will be exposed; when I will not feel like doing anything at all and will just go through the drudgery of whatever we have planned, simply so that I can post something here. If nothing else, it’ll be interesting to watch the idea unfold, and to see where it takes us.

Hopefully, by the end of this season, we will be able to "taste and see that the Lord is good" (Ps 34:8).

*Sundays are not included in the 40 days of Lent, because Sunday is always supposed to be a celebration of Christ’s resurrection. That’s why they are called the Sundays in Lent, not the Sundays of Lent.

a lovely dinner

Valentine’s Day 2005 – I had the first date with my now-wife, Suzy, at Rene’s Steakhouse (now called Larkin’s on the River). Yes, I was that douchey guy who took girls out to the nicest place I could think of for the first date, even though I had no business being there. To show you how ridiculous it was for us to be there, we had to hurry through our dinner so I could get back to campus for an intramural basketball game. But hey…it worked! We began dating and were married four years later.

Valentine’s Day 2011 – Sure enough, we were. After multiple pregnancy tests of all different kinds, we were actually, positively pregnant! And to find out on Valentine’s Day! So our dinner plans were going to be extra special. We returned to Larkin’s on the River and enjoyed an amazing meal – a wedge salad for me and a house salad with spiced pecans for Suzy; perfectly cooked medium-rare filet mignon, finished with butter; oven-baked four cheese macaroni, with breadcrumb topping; and smoked gouda mashed potatoes. The whole meal was delicious—warm flavors and savory goodness—and a great way to remember the beginning of our relationship and celebrate the new beginning of being pregnant.

Valentine’s Day 2012 – We’ve got a four month old baby, but we made reservations weeks ago. The babysitters (i.e. grandparents) are ready to take care of our little man and we are ready for a great dinner at Nantucket. We haven’t eaten there before, so we are very excited to try it out. Unfortunately, Suzy is suffering from a terrible cold (that I gave her), so we opt to stay in. I pick up take-out from Thaicoon—pineapple curry with chicken and panang curry with pork—and we sit on the floor to eat, playing with the baby between bites. We finish off our romantic dinner with a dozen break-and-bake cookies…classy, I know. At one point, Suzy looks at me and says, “I'm gonna kill you for giving me this cold.” I love you, too, honey. Happy Valentine’s Day.

While we are laying in bed later that night, we joke about how “memorable” this Valentine’s Day would be. And I agree. I honestly think it will be. Obviously it was nothing like the meals we had at nice restaurants in years past, but it was still a lovely dinner: literally, a dinner defined by love.

As I’m writing this, I’m watching a story on Rock Center with Brian Williams about couples that celebrated Valentine’s Day at White Castle (check out the video clip here). My first reaction is, “Are you kidding me?! Why would they go to White Castle? Who would want to celebrate Valentine’s Day like that?” Then I think of how Suzy and I “celebrated” this year, and it made sense. It doesn’t matter where you are or what you eat…you can still have a lovely dinner.

Got any memorable (or not-so-memorable) Valentine's dinners?