day twenty-five: (re)phil

I'm beginning to think that I shouldn't even make a calendar for these next couple of weeks. Every time I update it, it changes again.

I didn't want it to today. I didn't want to stop. I wanted to keep driving. I just wanted to keep going on my way, to eat lunch at my in-laws and go for a quick run before making some visits.

But there was Phil, again (we had given him a sandwich on day three), standing beside the road next to Stax's, holding a sign that simply read "Hungry." I really didn't want to, but I couldn't not stop.

After a brief chat in the parking lot, during which I (re)introduced myself, I invited Phil to join me for lunch inside. He was reluctant, but eventually he agreed to sit down with me for a meal. It was really hard to talk at first. I felt like it wasn't just a table that separated us, and the distance between us seemed infinitely greater than width of the booth.

Our lives are so different. I don't even know if we operate on the same terms. When I asked him where he was living, Phil told me and said, "Well, I don't really 'live' out there. I exist. Know what I mean?"

I didn't. My life is so unlike his existence.

As we settled into our seats, though, the distance between us shrunk. The more we talked, the more I realized that while we have very different lives/existences, we share common human experiences - family drama, deep emotional pain, humor and laughter. In fact, I found out that his birthday was just a week ago (only a few days after mine), and the restaurant manager brought us a piece of birthday cake leftover from his daughter's party earlier in the day...a nice coincidence (providence?).

When we finished, I redeemed my Stax's loyalty card, full and ready to be used.

Spend $150, get $15 free.

It seems like I am always having to replenish these cards. But that's the whole idea. You fill it up, empty it, then refill it...much like our struggle against hunger, poverty, and injustice.

Jesus once spoke to some "blessed" ones and said, "For I was hungry and you gave me food; I was thirsty and you gave me drink..." (Mt 25:35). Jesus speaks in the past tense. The feeding, giving, etc. has already been done. And it had with Phil, too. I had already given food to Phil once before.

But I wasn't done...and I don't know if I ever will be. In the service of others, we are always moving from the present tense of Phil's sign ("[I am] Hungry") to the past tense of Jesus' words ("I was hungry"). We are making a present need a past reality as we move into God's future. We are offering a refill.